It was strangely chilly last night as I strolled through the park. I was grateful I had grabbed my jacket as I pulled the collar up and shoved my hands into my pockets. Thoughts of a warm cup of Starbucks Coffee flooded my mind as I passed by the section of the park where alot of homeless hunker down for the night. Most of them were sleeping, or staring off vacantly. As I passed by one particular fellow however, he called up to me in a surprisingly refined British Accent, "Pardon me sir, but would be you be so kind as to spare a few coins?"

I fumbled through my pocket, fishing out a dollar and some change. As I extended my hand I looked into the face of the poor devil before me, and my jaw dropped.

"My god...Jeeves? Is that really you?"

Yes, it was none other the familiar valet who greeted web searchers when they arrived at the doorstep of AskJeeves.com. Jeeves' clothes were tattered, his face unshaved. He looked a wreck.

"Indeed," Jeeves replied, trying to muster what dignity he could, "It seems my services were no longer required."

As I sat down on the bench next to the fallen icon, he began to relay his tale. A few days earlier, he had been busy taking care of an inquiry on the site when a call came in. Seems Ask owner Barry Diller made a surprising announcement at an investor conference. "He informed everyone that research results found that internet users were having trouble identifying with me," Jeeves explained, "Apparently, they were confused over what I represented."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I said incredulously, "What's there not to understand. You go to the site. You ask a question. You get an answer. Done."

"Ah yes, but as you may be aware, the technology behind the site has changed vastly. Users are no longer limited to asking questions. Our search engine could accommodate many more types of inquiries."

"Okay, so?"

"So it appears that my presence no longer fits into the company, and actually hampers people's understanding of what we do."

"You're serious? You're a (expletive) cartoon character!" I yelled, "I don't know ANYONE who has ever gone to your site and gotten confused. Again, you go the site. You put in a question. Or a keyword. Or a shoe size. Whatever. You get the answer you move on."

"I daresay, my enthusiastic friend, that I share your sentiment. But apparently not all web users are as savvy as you?"

Jeeves went on to say that there was no actual timeframe from when he would disappear from the site, but as I could see, he was already beginning to feel the effects.

"I couldn't afford the luxury apartment any more," Jeeves cried, "The company car is gone. They took my 24 karat feather duster too. I'm a shell of what I once was."

The time grew late and I had to head home. As I shook his grimy hand, passing two twenty dollar bills to him in the process, I thought about the idiocy of some people on the web. A cartoon butler left them confused when they tried to do a web search? What else causes these mental midgets to overload? Do they feel compelled to yodel when the go to Yahoo.com? Do they think that all the books and CDs you buy at Amazon.com come from a little tribe living in a rainforest?

Perhaps there would be hope for Jeeves. He mentioned he had an audition to play the Alfred's long lost brother in the new Batman cartoon.

Hey, the Pets.com sock puppet got a second chance. Why not Jeeves?

Alright, enough ramblin'.